How to Prevent Disputes Between your Children after you’ve died

Family relationships are not always straightforward. Adult children may have different personalities, unresolved disagreements or years of estrangement. 

While these issues can be difficult during a parent's lifetime, they can become even more challenging when that parent dies or loses the capacity to make decisions. 

For parents concerned about conflict between their children, careful estate planning can help reduce the risk of disputes and prevent existing tensions from becoming costly legal battles. 

Should You Appoint Conflicting Siblings as Joint Executors? 

One of the most important decisions when preparing a will is choosing your executor. 

An executor is responsible for administering your estate, including identifying assets, dealing with liabilities and distributing inheritances according to your will and the law. 

Many parents naturally want their adult children to act as executors together. 

However, where siblings already have a difficult relationship, appointing them jointly can create problems. 

Joint executors may need to cooperate on important decisions. If they cannot communicate effectively or trust each other, even routine estate administration can become contentious. 

An alternative may be to appoint one executor or an independent third party. 

The key is choosing someone who is capable of fulfilling the role and managing the responsibilities involved. 

Can an Independent Executor Help Prevent Family Conflict? 

An independent executor may be particularly helpful where there is significant distrust between siblings. 

This could be a trusted person outside the immediate family or an appropriately qualified professional. 

However, independence alone is not enough. 

The person should understand the responsibilities of estate administration and be prepared to manage potentially difficult family interactions. 

Choosing someone who is uncomfortable dealing with conflict may simply create another problem. 

How Should You Structure Inheritances for Children Who Do Not Get Along? 

Estate planning is not only about deciding how much each child receives. It is also about considering how those assets will be managed. 

For example, leaving a property jointly to siblings who rarely agree may create ongoing disagreements about maintenance, occupation or selling the property. 

Similar problems can arise where siblings must jointly manage a family business or trust. 

Where appropriate, structuring inheritances so that children are not required to make ongoing decisions together may reduce future disputes. 

Should Conflicting Siblings Share a Testamentary Trust? 

A testamentary trust is a trust established through a will that can provide flexibility in how inherited assets are managed and distributed. 

If adult children are already in conflict, placing them in charge of one testamentary trust together may create ongoing difficulties. 

Depending on the estate and family circumstances, separate testamentary trusts may be more appropriate. 

This can allow each child to manage their inheritance independently, subject to the terms of their trust. 

The objective is to avoid creating financial arrangements that require people with an already strained relationship to cooperate indefinitely. 

What About Your Enduring Power of Attorney? 

Conflict between adult children can also become problematic while a parent is alive. 

An enduring power of attorney allows a person to appoint someone to make certain financial and personal decisions on their behalf, subject to the document and Queensland law. 

Where siblings have a history of conflict, appointing them to act jointly may lead to disagreements about their parent's care, finances or other important decisions. 

Parents should carefully consider who is suitable for the role and whether their chosen attorneys can work together. 

An attorney should also maintain appropriate records and document important decisions. This can help demonstrate that decisions were made properly and in accordance with their legal responsibilities. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Can I appoint only one child as executor? 

Yes. You can choose one suitable child rather than appointing all your children together. However, consider whether this may increase existing tensions and whether an independent executor would be more appropriate. 

Can siblings challenge an executor's actions? 

Yes. Beneficiaries may raise concerns about estate administration, and legal remedies may be available where an executor fails to fulfil their duties. 

Can siblings have separate testamentary trusts? 

Yes. A will can be structured to establish separate testamentary trusts where appropriate, allowing different arrangements for individual beneficiaries. 

What happens if siblings disagree about an enduring power of attorney? 

Depending on the circumstances, concerns about an attorney's conduct or suitability may be brought before the Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT). The tribunal has powers to review certain enduring power of attorney matters. 

Can estate planning completely prevent inheritance disputes? 

No estate plan can guarantee that conflict will not arise. However, careful appointments, clear documents and appropriate inheritance structures can reduce avoidable sources of disagreement. 

Final Thoughts 

When adult children do not get along, hoping they will put their differences aside after a parent's death is not always a realistic estate planning strategy. 

Choosing appropriate executors and attorneys, considering separate inheritance structures and avoiding unnecessary shared control can help reduce the risk of future disputes. 

If you are concerned about conflict between your adult children, contact Lidia Vicca or book a free consultation to discuss how your will and enduring power of attorney can better reflect your family's circumstances.